sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
