Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
