dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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