420 ftw
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
