Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
