wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
