If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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