A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
