I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
