Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
