I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
