But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
