I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
