I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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