Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
