How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Still dying that you shit outside
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
