Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
