yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
