Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
