You can't special order awesome
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
