I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
