ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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