how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
