id be glad to
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize