meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
