Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
