she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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