ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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