Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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