I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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