your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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