I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
only you would photoshop your dick
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
