Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
