i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
