I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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