Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
