Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
