i think my tv is drunk
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
