just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
