Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
