My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
