i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
