she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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