I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
