just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
