i already hear my dad disowning me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize