I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
