I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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