How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
