There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
